Well, 51 came and decided to stay. It was a nice day -- lots of emails, facebook comments, and phone calls. Spent the evening at J&L's with their two babies. One has colic and cries unconsolably for hours at a time. The other has realized this new baby is not going away and doesn't like that, so he cries out of frustration. I remember those days. Lin has unlimited amounts of patience and just carries on despite the howls and protestations of her two little boys. I admire her for that. She seems to understand, already, that these days will not last forever. I watched my grandsons throughout the evening and decided we are truly blessed. Each of them has claimed a place in our hearts just by making their appearance in this world. What is it that makes you so attached so immediately? Grace? A glimpse of unconditional love? Whatever it is, it's a marvel to me. I think I'll wrap myself in this warm, fuzzy, melancholy feeling for the day. It's gray outside, but not here inside.

I've decided that I am definitely behind the eight ball -- make that the blog-ball. 2008 is nearing an end. 51 is looming on the horizon (literally). I have decided to try writing a blog. I'm not sure if I 'll have much to say. I may surprise myself. A couple of days ago I came to terms with one aspect of my work. What a difference it has made. I came to realize that I don't need to concern myself with things other than my specific area of duties. Yeah, I'm the oldest one in the office group. Yeah, I have 3 times the experience of every one else (really. and that make me old.) But, no, I don't have to deal with or fix every little they bring to me. I said to one of the gals on Monday, "If it doesn't have to do with depositing cheques or writing cheques, go ask someone else." That was quite liberating. I'm the Controller of the company. Not the office manager, not the human resources person, not the IT person ... just the Controller, the Bookkeeper. Wow! I can (and will) say "no" or "not my area". I guess that's a natural pitfall when you've been at the job for 20 years like I have and the rest of the staff might have 20 years of experience between the 5 of them. I also realized, as I listened to the lunch room chats, that these women are YOUNGER than my own children. Yikes. When did I become middle aged? I think I'll ponder that as I wait for my 51st birthday to roll out with the sunrise. Here's to experience!